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A charcuterie board by any other name would be just fine.

Michael Giacopassi

Posted on February 16 2022

Ive seen a lot of discussion online over what constitutes a charcuterie board and Id like to throw in my $.02 for whatever it’s worth.

Let me preface this rant by saying I not only make amazing wood charcuterie boards – but I make the charcuterie as well. I have dedicated an entire room in my basement to curing said salty meaty goodness. As we speak I have 100 lbs of classic salami, 50 lbs of finocchio, 50lbs of chorizo and two massive pigs legs (prosciutto) hanging down there right now.

In the past Ive had nduja, coppa, duck, pepperoni, bresaola, and a few other types of processed and whole muscles hanging in the room at various times throughout the year.

Now that I have cleared my credentials, Id like to clear the air and have the final say on what constitutes a proper charcuterie board. I say put whatever the hell you want on your charcuterie board and call it whatever you want to.

Recently my friend sent a pic of a board he bought from me that his two daughters had taken over. The board’s new purpose was serving up hot chocolate after a day of snow shoveling, tubing and fort building. It came complete with proper hot chocolate (made from milk, not water) and even had tiny marshmallows – I said that’s fine.

I have seen adult grown people get angry with one another over what can be called what. Who cares? Why are you so angry? I understand the past two years have been stressful, crazy, unprecedented – but relax. Calm down – eat some delicious, cured meat on a purple elephant board – or whatever you want to call it.

So someone you never met called their all vegetable board a charcuterie board? How does that hurt you? A Facebook group dedicated to deserts is calling what they put together for a party a charcuterie board and there is not a slice of meat to be found? So what? Let it go.

 

Im all for tradition and old-world style of doing things. That’s why I have kept the tradition of making salami alive and have brought it to my group of friends. But hell, I make a chocolatesalami around the holidays to give out in my gift boxes. Chillax.

Conversely if you want to call the board you just created with many varieties of cured porky goodness and a few types of cheese a cheese platter – DO IT! How about a meat and cheese board? Yes. A meattery? Yup.

If we have learned anything over the last couple of years – life is too short to get caught up in the little things. Almost everything is a little thing. And worrying about the proper name for your party board is one of those things.

Let everything fall under the bucket of charcuterie board. A brunch board – call it a charcuterie board. How about that killer BBQ board you put together after working the smoker for the past 36 hours? That’s a charcuterie board. Just deserts? Charcuterie board. Pancake board – nah, charcuterie board.

If someone gets mad at you for calling whatever you put together a charcuterie board, send them my way and Ill take care of it. The very best way to diffuse a tense situation or an angry charcuterie board name police is to kill them. Kill them with kindness. If someone is coming at you with all sorts of angry words about why you are calling your cheese board a charcuterie board. Ask them to send a picture of one they put together and compliment the heck out of it.

Tell them they clearly know what they are doing and that their board is beautiful, and then ask for some tips to makes your better.

It is difficult to stay angry with someone who is complimenting you with sincere observations and comments. Keep it civil, sincere and honest and you will see how far it gets you. There is simply too much vitriol to meet anger with anger. And whats in words anyways? Sure words can hurt as much as a knife from someone you love. But angry words from someone miles away you have never met that is simply lashing out because they feel somehow hurt or just like being a troll?  Let those words roll off like water on a duck.

That’s all I will say about this for now – as I think it should be good for a couple of months where I may have to once again speak out on this increasingly important and divisive topic. For now, just do what you want to do as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else

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